You’re not the boss of me

Straight from the kindergarten playground!

One child struggling to claim their independence lets the others know that they will not be pushed around. They are independent thinkers who will ‘do’ and ‘not do’ activities under any circumstances unless they choose.

I am in charge.

Except that we humans have been designed as social creatures. We are hard-wired to live in tribes which require a certain amount of cooperation with others in order to survive. 

To be ostracised from the group may mean starvation. 

It makes sense to ‘go with the flow’ sometimes.

But not everything the tribe thinks serves us, particularly now that our tribe has become so big and diverse. Often, what some members of the tribe say is not designed for our best interest. It may be self-serving and highly unlikely to be the cause of our starvation.

When we’re making decisions on what we’ll do there’s often a voice in the back of our minds telling us ‘not’ to do something. There’s often more voices telling us ‘not’ to do things than there are voices telling us ‘to do’ something. We tend to like the safety of the status quo.

Whose voice is it telling you not to do something?

The answer may not come immediately, but sit with it. It may be the voice of a well meaning parent or family member, a concerned friend, a teacher or mentor. It may have been spoken years or decades ago, at a time when it was sage advice but may not be relevant now.

It may be something you told yourself and you’ve never thought to question it again.

Questioning where the voice came from and whether or not it’s relevant puts us in a position to make better informed decisions that serve us in the here and now.

Making informed decisions means you really are the boss of you.